Joke 1B New Jokes

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sms Jokes

Great funny dirty jokes with new awesome pranks joke cute fantastic jokes in hindi good  superb chuck norris jokes and cool joke of the day sms jokes and more joks.

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An English professor asked her category to write down AN essay on what they'd do if that they had 1,000,000 greenbacks. Alec handed  during a blank sheet of paper. "Alec!" loud the teacher, "you've done nothing. Why?" "Because if I had 1,000,000 greenbacks, that is precisely what i might do!"

Q: what is a decent Christmas present for Rod Blagojevich?
A: a decent Lawyer!

Q: what's going to Governor Blagojevich do once obtaining kicked out of office?
A1: Become the official Lego Hair model.
A2: Get unemployed once more by Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice!
A3: Host of the sport show "Let's build A Deal"

Q: however is Governor Blagojevich's dream like the one by theologiser King Jr?
A: United Nations agency is aware of, except for $100 he can tell you concerning it!

Statement: Time magazine reports that Governor Blagojevich has AN approval rating 4 wheel drive. that is with a margin of error of fifty.
Punchline: this suggests he might really disapprove of himself.

Q: once federal agents found out Governor Blagojevich's house what quantity time did he want before being arrested?
A: five minutes to close up his things and four hours to brush his hair!

Q: what's Governor Blagojevich's real last name?
A1: Bla-son-of-a-bitch
A2: Bla-just-go-with-it
A3: BraggingBitch

Q: Rod Blagojevich was inactive for attempting to sell a us senate seat to the best bidder, what happens next?
A: Blagojevich can visit jail wherever his seat/ass are sold-out to the most important bidder!

Q: What did Rod Blagojevich say once Barack Obama known as on him to resign?
A: "Only if the value is right!"

Q: however did federal agents verify Blagojevich contains a long history of bribes and kickbacks?
A: They searched his hair!

Q: Why did NBC amendment their minds concerning having Blagojevich seem on "I'm a celeb ... Get Pine Tree State Out of Here!"?
A: as a result of they thought he would be higher described on "The Biggest Loser"!

Q: what's the title to the new tell-all Rod Blagojevich book?
A: "The Idiot's Guide To Becomming Governor Of Illinois"

Why did Ron Artest leave the sport early?
He needed to beat the gang

Ron Artest has been suspended for the incident.
The good news  he has been chosen to host the atmosphere Awards next year.

Why is Metta World Peace a mussy eater?
He's continuously propulsion.

How does one grasp once it's Ron Artest's Birthday?
Everyone gets to depart work twelve minutes early.

What does one decision a wealthy person around a TV observation the NBA Finals?
Metta World Peace.

What will AN Metta World Peace do once his team has won the NBA Finals?
He turns off the PlayStation three.

Q: If the health care reform bill is called once the late tough guy Kennedy United Nations agency ought to the defense bill be named after?
A: Rush Limbaugh as a result of it contains lots of fat!

Q: United Nations agency square measure the 2 African Americans that Rush Limbaugh is aware of "very well"?
A: aunty Jemima and Uncle Ben!

Q: Why will Rush Limbaugh wish to shop for the St gladiator Rams?
A1: as a result of the St gladiator Arch reminds him of McDonalds!
A2: as a result of Buffalo Wild Wings turned him down!

Q: however does one grasp that Rush Limbaugh resides the yank Dream?
A: as a result of at some point he is a good conservative radio broadcast host and therefore the next he is standing in line with alternative patients to induce Darryl Strawberry's autograph.

Q: Why will Rush Limbaugh use the Viagra-brand Chapstik?
A: as a result of its the simplest thanks to keep a "stiff higher lip!"

Q: Why is Rush Limbaugh and his third better half obtaining a divorce?
A: Rush took twelve Viagra pills promptly and he or she nearly died!

Q: Why was it straightforward for aerodrome security to seek out Rush's felonious Viagra stash?
A: as a result of he gave the impression of a hardened criminal!

Q: What was the primary success by the St. gladiator Rams throughout the 2009 season?
A: Denying Rush Limbaugh's bid for NFL ownership!

Q: Why is Rush Limbaugh currently attempting to alter the name "Black Friday"?
A: as a result of there's already a "President's Day"!

Q: What seats do the Republicans hope to select up in 2010?
A: the 2 seats Limbaugh should purchase whenever he flys industrial airliners!

Q: Why cannot Rush Limbaugh get his hands around health care reform?
A: as a result of his hands square measure continuously coated in cookie dough!

Q: Why will Rush Limbaugh hate Barack Obama's guts?
A: as a result of Obama beat Rush during a pie ingestion contest (don't question me how)!

Q: however will Rush Limbaugh support the Humane's Society?
A: By ingestion stray cats!

Q: Why cannot Rush Limbaugh die of a Heart Attack?
A: He has no heart!

Q: Why does not Rush Limbaugh assume archangel J. Fox's parkinsons condition is serious?
A: as a result of you merely shake like that once your caregiver takes too long to fill AN oxycontin prescription!

Q: Why are not republicans mad concerning married woman Palin charging the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her youngsters to travel together with her on official business?
A: as a result of once she leaves them home alone, they get pregnant!
Q: Why can Britney Spears vote for married woman Palin?
A: as a result of she's running out of alternative crazy things to try and do.

Q: Why did married woman Palin say Asian nation is our neighboring country?
A: as a result of she will be able to see bin Laden's cave from her house!

Q: what is the best married woman Palin nickname?
A1. Barracuda
A2. Maverick Hockey mother
A3. Rogue Diva
A4. Pit Bull with Lipstick
A5. Bush with Lipstick
A6. Pathological prevaricator
A7. elk in Headlights
A8. Dangerous Extremist
A9. MILF
A10. Rangifer tarandus Barbie

Q: Whose been job married woman Palin to endure president in 2012?
A: Democrats!

Q: Why was married woman Palin discomfited with the 2008 presidential election?
A: as a result of there wasn't a bathing costume and talent competion!

Q: Why square measure married woman Palin dolls illegal from Toys R Us?
A: as a result of they unbroken shooting My very little Pony!

Q: however dumb is married woman Palin?
A1: She's therefore dumb that she thinks the capital of China is Chinatown!
A2: She's therefore dumb that she thinks billboards square measure postcards from giants
A3: She's therefore dumb that she thinks soy milk is Spanish for 'I am milk.

Q: that person did President Obama convey 1st for serving to him win the 2008 election?
A: married woman Palin

Q: however will married woman Palin grasp that the globe celebrated Barack Obama's success within the 2008 election?
A: She might see the Russians celebrating from her house!

Q: Why is not married woman Palin thinking ahead to the 2012 election?
A: as a result of she may well be a great-grandmother by then!

Q: what is the distinction between married woman Palin's mouth and her vagina?
A: just some of the items that pop out of her canal square measure backward.

Q: Whats the name of the programme major the 2008 Republican Presidential Ticket?
A: The maverick and therefore the MILF!

Q: that three campaign stops will married woman Palin currently regret?
A: Saks, Nieman Marcus and Bloomingdales.

Q: however do Americans recognize the important married woman Palin from the imitators?
A: The imitators begin responsive questions!

Q: Why will married woman Palin keep reaching bent Joe Sixpack?
A: as a result of her answers build a lot of sense once six beers!

Q: Why will married woman Palin assume Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin approves of her?
A: as a result of they each wish to shoot animals from helicopters!



Q: why will Snoop Dogg carry AN umbrella?
A: the drizzle my nizzle.

Q: what is brown and rhymes with "snoop"?
A: Dr. Dre!

Q: What will snoop dog wash his garments with?
A: Bleaochhhh

Q: why did snoop dogg obtain a german cook book?
A: Fo' schizlet

Q: what's Snoop Dogg's favorite tool?
A: prosecutor Chizel!

Q: what's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather condition?
A: Drizzle!

Q: what would snoop doggs name be if he married winne prosecutor pooh
A: snoop barker dogg POOH

Q: Why will Snoop Dogg use conditioner?
A: Fo'frizzel

Q: What did Snoop Dogg enlighten fifty Cent once he saw him golf stroke on a sweater?
A: Hey G, you knit?

Q: Why is not Snoop Dogg aloud to prevent at rest areas?
A: as a result of the sign says 'All dogs should get on leashes'

Q: Why could not Snoop Dogg get within the store?
A: They same no dogs allowed....

Q: Why will Snoop ne'er hold onto a hot pocket?
A: as a result of he drops it like its hot!

Q: Why does not Snoop eat beef products?
A: Mad Cowizzle!

Q: What will snoop dogg eat for dinner?
A: spa-GHETTO!

Q: What was snoop's favorite childhood song?
A: Puff The Magic Dragon

Q: Why is snoop dogg black?
A: as a result of his oldsters were!

Q: Why doesnt snoop wanna have kids?
A: as a result of he doesnt wanna have to be compelled to shut down there shitizzle

Q:Why will Snoop Dogg drink Shirley Temples?
A: F'grenadizzle....get it?

Q: what is the distinction between Snoop Dogg ANd an apple?
A: Snoop Dogg fucked yo teacher!!!!

Q: What will snoop dog however on his salad?
A: bacon biaaaahts

Q: What will Snoop Dogg listen for whereas preparation his bacon?
A: Fo' Sizzle!

Q: What will snoop use wash his car?
A: His hoes (hose)

Q: Why will Snoop Dogg use Palmade?
A: Fo' frizzle.