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"You most likely apprehend of these "walking to school" stories ... I walked to highschool day after day, 5 miles, uphill, both ways, barefoot, within the snow .....Well, once I was a child, i actually did walk ten miles to highschool daily, generally within the rain or snow. Man, did I feel stupid once I realized there was a bus."
Q: have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
A: Neither has he!
Q: however did Stevie marvel meet his wife?
A: Blind date.
Q: have you ever ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife?
A: Neither has he.
Q: however does one break Steve Wonder's neck?
A: Speed up the music.
Q: What goes ring-ring, ring-ring, ring, Ahhhhhhh!
A: Stevie marvel respondent the iron
Q: What did Stevie Wonder's mother do for punishment?
A: set up the piece of furniture.
Q: Why will Stevie marvel shake his head once he sings?
A: as a result of he cannot notice the mike.
Q: What does one decision Stevie marvel enjoying tennis?
A: Endless love
Q: what is the quickest factor on land?
A: Stevie Wonder's powerboat
Q: Why will Stevie marvel continuously smile?
A: No one's told him he is black however.
Q: Why hasn't Stevie marvel written a success in years?
A: He born his pencil!
Q: What have St. Patrick Swayze and Stevie marvel happened common?
A: Neither of them can see Christmas!
Stevie marvel walks into a store swinging a dog on top of his head.
The search owner says "Can I facilitate you?"
Stevie marvel say "No i am simply having a glance around"
At a star party, Stevie marvel meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is a superb player.
Tiger could be a bit skeptical that the blind musician will play golf well, however he is too polite to mention something.
"When I play, " the singer explains, "I have a man decision to Pine Tree State from the inexperienced. My sharp sense of hearing lets Pine Tree State aim."
Tiger is affected, and Stevie suggests that they play a spherical.
When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, "How concerning if we tend to play for $10,000 a hole?"
Tiger insists he could not presumably play him for cash due to his sight handicap.
But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger till Tiger finally relents
Stevie says, "You decide the place and i am going to decide the time?"
Tiger says, "Fine. stone Beach"
Stevie replies, "Midnight!"
Q: What does one decision stormtroopers enjoying Monopoly?
A: Game of Clones
Q: Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?
A: to urge to the Dark facet.
Q: once did Anakin's Jedi masters apprehend he was leaning towards the dark side?
A: within the Sith Grade.
Q: Why do Doctors create the simplest Jedi?
A: as a result of a Jedi should have patience.
Roses square measure red, violets square measure blue, if you're keen on Star Wars, might the force be with you.
Q: however is Ducktape just like the Force?
A: it's a Dark facet, a light-weight facet and it binds the galaxy along.
Q: What does one decision a potato that has turned to the Dark side?
A: Vader Tots.
Q: What does one decision a Sith United Nations agency will not fight?
A: A Sithy.
Q: wherever will blue blood Leia go on a spree for covering and such?
A: At the Darth Maul, of course.
Q: however do Ewoks communicate over long distances?
A: With Ewokie Talkies
Q: What does one decision five siths concentrated on prime of a lightsaber?
A: A Sith-Kabob!
Q: What does one decision a Jedi in denial?
A: Obi-Wan can't be
Q: What does one decision Chewbacca once he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
A: Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
Q: that Star Wars character uses meat for a weapon rather than a Lightsaber?
A: cult Wan tarradiddle.
Q: Why could be a droid mechanic ne'er lonely?
A: as a result of he is continuously creating new friends!
Q: What did the resentment say once he Ate a Wookiee?
A: Chewie!
Q: What does one decision the web site Chewbacca started that offers out Empire secrets?
A: Wookieeleaks
Q: What does one decision Harrison Ford once he smokes weed?
A: dynasty So-high
Q: What does one decision a Mexican jedi?
A: Obi-Juan Kenobi
Q: What do Gungans place things in?
A: Jar Jars.
Q: Why did Yoda visit Bank of America yesterday?
A: He required a bank clone! (Loan)
Q: Why will blue blood Leia keep her hair betrothed in buns?
A: therefore it does not droop Solow!
Q: Why did not Luke Skywalker cross the road?
A: as a result of he got a price ticket for Skywalking.
Q: What will Yoda enlighten encourage a Padawan before a test?
A: Do well, you'll do!
Q: What does one decision 2 suns fighting every other?
A: Star Wars
Q: What does one decision a Jedi United Nations agency loves tacos?
A: Obi-Juan Kenobi
Q: What does one decision a pirate droid?
A: Argh2-D2
Q: Why will Leia wear buns on her head?
A: just in case she gets hungry in a very Senate meeting.
Q: What does one decision it once just one Star Wars character provides you a spherical of applase?
A: A Hand Solo!
Q: what number stormtroopers will it desire replace a lightbulb?
A: Two; one to screw the bulb in, the opposite to shoot him and take the credit.
Q: What facet of Associate in Nursing Ewok has the foremost hair?
A: the skin.
Q: United Nations agency tries to be a Jedi?
A: Obi-Wannabe
Q: that Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter
Q: What does one decision a feminine Mandalorian?
A: A Womandalorian.
Q: What do Whipids say after they kiss?
A: Ouch.
Q: What does one decision a bounty hunter from the South?
A: Bubba Fett
Q: Why did the Stormtrooper begin jumping up and down?
A: He stepped on Ant-hillies.
Q: What do Star Destroyers wear to parties?
A: A necktie.
Q: Why is dynasty Solo a loner?
A: as a result of he is solo.
Q: wherever will Jabba the Hutt eat?
A: dish Hutt
Q: Why did the crazy Angrallian Toobir cross the nebula?
A: to urge to the opposite dementedness.
Q: Why did Kit Fisto storm out of the dish restaurant?
A: as a result of they were serving Mon calamary.
Q: Why did the felon cross the spacelanes?
A: to urge to the opposite facet.
Q: what is the differance between Associate in Nursing ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One's Associate in Nursing Imperial walker and also the different could be a walking Imperial.
Q: what number Sith will it desire screw in a very hyperdrive?
A: Two, however i do not acumen they happened it.
Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
A: Associate in Nursing Imperial Officer happy at Darth Vader.
Q: Why did Yoda cross the road?
A: as a result of the chickens Forced him to.
Q: As a Walt Disney character what song would Vader sing?
A: "When you would like Upon A Death Star".
Q: Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree?
A: it absolutely was dead.
Q: however does one unlock doors on Kashyyyk?
A: With a woo-key
Q: wherever will Qui-Gon keep his jam?
A: in a very Jar-Jar.
Why did Padme Amidal keep her Boots on?
Because they were too BOOT-iful!
Q: what's Jabba the Hutt's middle name?
A: "The"
Q: Why is that the Millenium Falcon therefore slow?
A: as a result of it takes a millenium to travel anyplace.
Q: what's a jedi's favorite toy?
A: A yo-yoda
The best a part of anyone is often their Dark facet.
Q: Why do you have to ne'er tell jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship would possibly crack up.
Q: What happens once a red and white X-Wing crashes into inexperienced water?
A: It gets wet.
Q: Why do Twi'leks prefer to flip coins?
A: so they will say, "Heads or tails!"
Q: What time is it once Associate in Nursing AT-AT steps on your chronometer?
A: Time to urge a brand new clock.
Q: Why could be a droid mechanic ne'er lonely?
A: as a result of he is continuously creating new friends.
Q: What does one decision a fight between film actors?
A: Star wars!
Q: What do Jawa's have that no different creature within the galaxy has?
A: Baby Jawas.
Q: What does one decision someone United Nations agency brings a resentment its dinner?
A: The appetiser.
Q: Why do vornksrs stop slowly?
A: they are terrified of whiplash.
Q: Why should not you raise Yoda for money?
A: as a result of he is continuously to a small degree short.
Q: What do Jedi use to look at PDF files?
A: Adobe Wan Kenobi
Q: what is the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?
A: The Ackbar.
Q: however would a fat rapscallion get into his X-wing?
A: He'd Wedge himself in.
Q: what number Corellians will it desire modification a glowpanel?
A: None, if the room's dark, then you cannot see them cheat at sabacc.
Luke and Obi-Wan square measure in a very Chinise edifice and Luke's having hassle.
Finally, Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks, Luke."
Unless you are a Jedi and it is a lightsaber, nothing appearance smart hanging off your belt.
You can tell lots concerning someone supported what color lightsaber they select.
If initially you do not succeed, get a ligthsaber and take a look at once more.
Comic Con ought to get on might the fourth.
Roses square measure red, violets square measure blue, if you do not like Star Wars, there is one thing wrong with you.
I don't need to sound racist, however all stormtroopers look an equivalent to Pine Tree State.
Life would be higher if rather than disceptation, individuals lightsaber battled one another.
Sexy Quotes from Star Wars
A New Hope
'She might not appear as if a lot of, however she has it wherever it counts, kid.'
'Curse my metal body, I wasn't quick enough!'
'Look at the scale of that thing!'
'Sorry concerning the mess...'
'You came therein thing? you are braver than i assumed.'
'Aren't you to a small degree short for a stormtrooper?'
'You've got one thing jam-pawncked in here real smart.'
"But currently we tend to should eat. come, good food, come..."
"That's okay, i might prefer to keep it on manual management for a moment."
"Hurry up, golden-rod..."
"I must've hit it pretty near the mark to urge her all miffed up like that, huh kid?"
"Possible he came in through the south entrance."
"And i assumed they smelled unhealthy on the outside!"
"Control, control! you need to learn control!"
'Put that factor away before you get United States all killed!'
'Luke, at that speed does one assume you will be able to pull get in time?'
'Get in there you huge hirsute goon, i do not care what you smell!'
The Empire Strikes Back
"I thought that bushy beast would be the tip of Pine Tree State."
"Size matters not. decide Pine Tree State by my size, do you?"
"There's Associate in Nursing awful heap of wetness in here."
Return of the Jedi
Han: "Hey, Luke, thanks for returning once Pine Tree State -- currently I owe you one."
Han: "Back door, huh? smart idea!"
"We have orders to present it solely to Jabba."
C3PO: "What may presumably have communicate Master Luke? Is it one thing I did? He ne'er expressed any unhappiness with my work."
Han :"Hey, purpose that factor somewhere else."
Emperor: "I foresee to finishing your coaching. I time you'll decision Pine Tree State master."
Leia: "You're a highly strung very little factor, are not you?"
C3PO: "I ne'er knew I had it in Pine Tree State."
Han: "Short facilitate's higher than no help in the least."
Lando: "Someone must've told them concerning my very little maneuver at the battle of Taanab."
Luke: "There is sweet in him, I've felt it."
C3PO: "If I told you [*fr1] the items I've detected concerning this Jabba the Hutt, you'd most likely short."
Jerjerrod: "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men square measure operating as quick as they will.
Darth Vader "Perhaps I will notice new ways in which to inspire them."
Han :"Grab Pine Tree State, Chewie. i am slippy -- hold on. Grab it, almost...you nearly got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me, Chewie. Chewie!"
Lando: "A very little higher, simply to a small degree higher."
The Phantom Menace
Jar Jar: Mesa no watch. Dissen ganna be messy!
Capt. Panaka: Once we're within, we tend to should not have a tangle.
Darth Maul: finally we are going to reveal ourselves to the Jedi.
Jarr-Jarr: Oo! Icky icky goo!
Battle Droid: Roger Roger!
Obi-wan: You were right concerning one factor, master, the negotiations were short.
Yoda: however feel you?
Qui-Gon: Get down!
Jar Jar: Whoo, boy! this is often tense!
Obi-Wan: Anakin and that i will handle this.
Shmi: it's time for you to discarding.
Pod Racer Announcer: wonderful... a controlled thrust and he is back on course!
Capt. Panaka:You cannot take Her Royal Highness there!
Jar Jar: Oie boie...mesa comen. Mesa comen!
Oom-9: If they are down here, sir, we'll notice them
Attack of the Clones
Captain Typho: you probably did your duty - Cord did hers. Now come.
Jar Jar: ...and this, I take it, is your apprentice... Noooooooo! Annie? Noooooooo! very little wee Annie? Noooooooo! Yousa therefore biggen! Yiyiyiyyi! Annie!!
Padm: Annie? My goodness, you've got grownup.
Mace Windu: The prophecy is returning true, the Dark facet is growing.
Anakin: i do not like simply waiting here for one thing to happen to her.
Obi-Wan: What took you therefore long?
Lama Su: impressive, are not they?
Anakin: Let Pine Tree State assist you therewith.
Obi-Wan: Take the one the correct. i am going to take the one on the left.
Obi-Wan: She looks to get on prime of things.
C-3PO: Artoo, what square measure you doing here? Wait! No! however dare you! you are propulsion too exhausting.
Obi-Wan: Anakin and that i will handle this.
Yoda: Handle that, your Padawan can.
Obi-Wan: Anakin! what number times have I told you to remain aloof from the ability couplings! Slow down! do not undergo there!
Obi-Wan: Here. Next time attempt to not act.
Padm: i am sorry, Anakin. It's not possible to deny you've got... ...that you've grownup up.
Padm: do not try and become older too quick.
Anakin: i'm grownup up. You same it yourself.
Padm: we tend to visited lightspeed a moment agone.
Padm: You were dreaming concerning your mother earlier, weren't you?
Revenge of the Sith
Anakin: don't fret. i am returning around behind you.
Anakin: return on, Master.
Obi-Wan: ...why am I continuously the bait?
Obi-Wan: Get the Chancellor! i am running out of tricks here.
Obi-Wan: Anakin, they are everywhere me!
Obi-Wan: i am taking place on the deck.
Obi-Wan: Hurry up! i do not like this!
Obi-Wan: stick with Pine Tree State... swing back and right... facilitate Pine Tree State have interaction.
Anakin: i am returning around. i am returning around on your tail.
Obi-Wan: These droids {are|ar|area unit|square Pine Tree Stateasure} everywhere me sort of a rash.
Obi-Wan: simply keep Pine Tree State steady... hold on... not yet... currently break left.
Obi-Wan: you will ne'er get through there, Anakin. It's too tight.
Obi-Wan: Wait... wait... i am unable to see a thing! My cockpit's fogging. they are everywhere Pine Tree State, Anakin.
Obi-Wan: Your plan of safe isn't an equivalent as mine.
Obi-Wan: We'll ne'er get through that. It's too small!
Obi-Wan: (To Anakin) now we are going to get it on along.
Count Dooku: Your moves square measure clumsy, Kenobi... too certain. you'll need to try and do higher.
Anakin: General Grievous... you are shorter than I expected.
Anakin: (to Obi-Wan) square measure you returning, Master?
Bail Organa: i am going to do everything I will with the Senate.
Mace: i do not assume the boy will handle it.
C-3PO: Oh, it's you, Master Kenobi. Come in, quickly.
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